:z.a.s:

"This is exactly what the nerds want!"

2009-10-29T10:32:12Z

I just finished a(nother) dorky little personal side project:

Quinn @ devART

My fave character from the Southern Vampire Mysteries / Sookie Stackhouse novels. (The books on which the TV show True Blood is based.) Work is inspired by him, but also just trying to draw some of that energy, drive, and passion into myself to make it through the other plans and projects on my plate. :)

I'll probably be in AZ this weekend with my mom for the funeral of one of her cousins (car accident oct 27th). Happy Halloween.

Can't Stop the Serenity @ Brewvies

2009-10-23T19:58:22Z

Join us on Thursday, October 29, 2009, from 7:00 PM until 10:00 PM at Brewvies Cinema Pub, located at 677 South 200 West in Salt Lake City, Utah, for games, prizes, food, fun, friends, and a special screening of the motion picture “Serenity”. All proceeds from the event will be donated to Equality Now, an organization dedicated to the protection of Human Rights for women and young girls across the globe.

Passes for the event and screening are $10 in advance and $15 the day of the show. Only 150 seats are available, so buy your passes now because this event will be sold out!!!

H.R. 2817, the Roadmap to End Global Hunger and Promote Food Security Act of 2009

2009-09-01T17:21:39Z

My heart's deepest wish: For everyone who desires it to be well-fed. :)

http://www.actioncenter.org/take_action/30

(As the nature is expansion, my next wish will be in the making once this is solved . . . But here you see the starting point. :) )

The psychic told me . . .

2009-08-31T21:58:37Z

. . . That I need to take time for myself and then all the other projects would fall in line and I wouldn't be stressed about the work.

I took that to mean, "Study the style of John Singer Sargent by doing a digital painting of Eric Northman and Pam from True Blood. With a corpse flower."

That takes you to devART. Looks better at full view. Actually, I uploaded their faces at 100% cuz they look pretty alright. Check 'em out here: face details.

I did this is less than twenty-four hours, so it's pretty damn quick for me. Like, I haven't done anything this quickly in possibly over a year? Several years?

I'm really proud of how fast that went and how I haven't really lost any rendering skills at all, despite not having done a colored illustration like that in quite awhile.

The main work I was trying to learn from was this: Portrait of Edouard and Marie-Louise Pailleron It's super hard to try and mimic such a soft style when I've been so line oriented, heh. And was extra hard cuz I could do the faces all soft and delicate, but then they didn't look anything like who they were supposed to, heh. I think if I spent more time drawing them, I could get a likeness and then do this soft style, but . . . Zzzzzzz . . .

Some of his other portraits were certainly informative. When I think of "pale staring people," I think of him. :)

So. SLEEP. Then wake up. Then see what I click into. :)

EeeeeEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEE!

2009-08-21T15:31:52Z

Is it bad that I've got more anticipation for Inglourious Basterds today than I did for the last four people with whom I had sexual relations? :D

(Granted, I haven't really been physical with someone since I've reached this level of a waking state . . . Nor were movies ever this intense until up until a few months ago. _{well, maybe they were when I was young . . . ???})

Inglourious Basterds Trailer #2

In conclusion . . . _{LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BURN, BURN, BURN, BURN, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE,MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, JOIN IN THE CHANT, JOIN IN THE CHANT, JOIN IN THE CHANT, JOIN IN THE CHANT, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BURN, BURN, BURN, BURN, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE AND HATE, FORCE IS MACHINE, FORCE IS MACHINE, FORCE IS MACHINE, JOIN IN THE CHANT, FORCE IS MACHINE, JOIN IN THE CHANT, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, LIES, LIES, LIES, LIES, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS, BURN, BURN, BURN, BURN, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, CHURCH, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE AND HATE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE,FORCE IS MACHINE, FORCE IS MACHINE, JOIN IN THE CHANT, FORCE IS MACHINE, JOIN IN THE CHANT, JOIN IN THE CHANT, JOIN IN THE CHANT, JOIN IN THE CHANT,(MUSCLE), MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE, FIRE, FIRE, FIRE, JOIN IN THE CHANT}

Really loved this Smashing Mag post from yesterday:

2009-08-14T14:46:01Z

Unique TV Series Episodes That Inspire Creativity

(Yes, Buffy made it. ;) )

How to Lose Your Skepticism in 10 Days

2009-05-05T04:52:41Z

Forgive me James Randi, for I have sinned . . . ( fake-cut )

QUE in NEW YORK

2009-05-01T05:57:51Z

Does someone here know a somebody named Que in New York ?

There's More to Somalia Than Piracy

2009-04-18T15:13:57Z

http://www.mercycorps.org/countries/somalia/15565

You've probably been following the recent news about pirate attacks off the coast of Somalia.

Nearly everyone agrees that the root of the problem isn't at sea, but on shore. Somalia is a failed state. More than three million people — a third of the country — are in need of humanitarian assistance.

I kinda dig Mercy Corps a lot. I've set up $100+ monthly donations to them (the junk food and eating out I've been cutting out of my diet more than allows for it. :) ) They've got a 4/4 star rating on charitynavigator.org. (I also do donations to Oprah's Angel Network- She can afford to cover many extra expenses, you know, so more of your money easily goes to where it belongs.)

As a side note, I just found that Charity Navigator site today and need to remember to do a more thorough search of it. I like the ease and focus of Mercy Corps, but I'm not so sure how I feel about terminology entirely? I'm trying to find a place which focuses more on "promoting abundance" than "ending hunger", you know? I really believe it's harder to escape the negative if your focus is on it . . .

I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.
- Mother Teresa

Traveling Internationally at Reduced Cost. :)

2009-04-14T14:54:13Z

I'm going to pick up my passport from the post office during lunch today.

Things I'm looking into:

http://www.idealist.org/volunteer/travel.html

On this page you will find brief descriptions of organizations that specialize in placing people in a variety of volunteer positions around the globe.

Plenty range from one week to several. A lot will cover lodging costs and some will even do transportation. Plus you're very easily and conveniently contributing to making the world a better place. Through humanitarian, environmental, and even animal conservational opportunities.

The only problem is how to possibly choose just one to start! (of course, that same link has an International Volunteerism Resource Center which looks like a great place to start!)

Amazon's Homophobia

2009-04-13T01:44:57Z

Why Is Amazon Removing The Sales Rankings From Gay, Lesbian Books?

A petition: In protest at Amazon's new "adult" policy

Consider leaving a comment on the Amazon Daily blog if that sort of thing is your bag, baby: http://www.amazon.com/gp/daily/ref=cm_dly_open

Now I can be happy!

2009-04-11T23:55:17Z

I downloaded Windows Live Messenger 9 awhile ago. Was not a big fan of it but figured I'd get used to it. Then some not worth it things became apparent:

•It wouldn't let me send ink messages to people anymore
•It wouldn't let me fiddle with the webcam settings while the webcam was in use.
•Also, you had to jump through several different elements to alter said settings, even when the webcam was off. ((Instead of right clicking the conveniently located webcam icon and choosing to go to the settings, you had to get to the inconveniently located Options, to the audio and video settings, then page through audio stuff you don't care about to get to the webcam stuff.))
•On top of that, it was mirroring my webcam and I couldn't locate how to change that.

This, in combination with the unnecessarily drastic layout changes made it very undesirable.

So I decided to uninstall it, and it was under some weird name in the add or remove program . . . So I ended up getting ZapMessenger to uninstall it (recommended) . . . And had to go on a little epic advenjourney through the internet to find a functioning download of a previous version.

I found it here: http://www.msgstuff.com/downloads/file/140-windows-live-messenger-8513021018/
(they also have older versions)

I just thought I'd share in case anyone else was becoming likewise frustrated. :)

Dear Twitter and Flickr users:

2009-04-09T01:51:24Z

Add me!
Twitter: http://twitter.com/littlezas
Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/littlezas/

I'm going to be tying that stuff into my site here soon. :)

now i can be happy

2009-02-21T19:00:57Z

Click Get It Now to download the whole thing for yourself for just $9.99.

(Physical copies should be available at Hot Topic by now- But it's smartest to call ahead first . . .)

Movie Valentine 4: attraction

2009-02-15T02:42:01Z

(links to devART)

Okay, this one is my favorite idea . . . But I don't think it's my favorite artwork, heh.

Okay, now I'm starting new documents of the "Valentine Cards That Could Have Been." I'm thinking two landscape-oriented images (one light yellow, one purple again) with four smaller idea sketches on each . . . Here's the part where I'm happy to receive new suggestions. :)

Movie Valentine 3: delicious

2009-02-15T02:13:59Z

(links to devART)

Final one will be uploaded in a sec. :D

Movie Valentine 2: dreams

2009-02-14T19:45:08Z

(links to devART)

Here's the second!
I have the third half-done and the fourth already completed . . .

I think after that I'll just have a sketch page of "Valentines that might have been . . ." If I had had enough time (Feel free to give suggestions . . . I'll do any that greatly amuse me. :) )

Movie Valentine 1: hugs

2009-02-14T08:49:47Z

(links to devART)

You may recognize that this is somewhat regurgitated from a facebook graffiti I did awhile ago- That served as the inspiration for creating some V-Day cards in the first place. So I thought a re-do was fitting for an opening shot.

I've got two others at the very least coming. May have some more, who knows?

Anyway, all these will be capable of being printed at 4.25"x5.5" . . . Click on the image to head to devART and check out the link in the description there.!

Send a simple email . . .

2009-02-13T19:47:17Z

. . . and support marriage equality. :)

The Place We Learn

2009-02-13T05:23:10Z

^{P. Dendritiformis Colony: Eshel Ben-Jacob}

I'm boiling, bubbling, and humming this last week. I don't know whether or not such is discernible to others- But it is so. :)

Cannibal Bacteria Kills Siblings
The article was overall interestingly informative, but this part in particular just struck me upon reading it:

According to Ben-Jacob, bacteria are surprisingly intelligent: “In the medical community, they perceive the bacteria as a collection of dumb creatures, but they actually not.”
. . .
In this study, each bacteria colony is around four inches in diameter, and the number of bacteria is around ten times the world’s human population. Every individual bacterial cell is in constant communication with all the rest. “Think of it as if ten times the number of people on earth were all connected by SMS to every other one, sending messages all the time. It is even better than fastest kid texting today,” said Ben-Jacob.

I've held the perspective of analyzing things in patterns, rather than groups, for awhile now. I mean, evolution's relationship to erosion in rocks? The concept that change isn't just about lifeforms.

But I don't claim to understand energy at all. And I'm skeptical of human ability to interpret such things, anyway.

While being so happily involved with my blossoming lovelovelove for Web design blogs, I stumbled across the site of Steve Pavlina. I think the first entry of his that I read was simply related to web traffic or something. I think it was How to Make Money from Your Blog, which linked to his How Selfish Are You? article.

Very informative and thought-provoking, so I decided to check out more of his entries. I didn't know that part of his site's title directly referenced "smart people" at that time- I just appreciated the intelligence put into his posts.

One which I immediately had to check out from the side links upon seeing was this:
Soulful Relationships

Reading that was very helpful. It felt like it unlocked a portion of my head which suddenly enabled me to deal with a lot of stuff. Well, I think upon reading it, he lists out those first elements and I'm like, "Ah, yes. I follow." Moving into the second list it's a sudden jump to, "o shit, how true."

I've been saying for weeks upon weeks that I want to regain balance and harmony, which is an identification of a desire. That certainly goes pretty far in working things out. But recently it now feels like I've been handed a bunch of tools over the last couple weeks to start accomplishing these things I desire - Many of these tools coming through this particular Web site.

Anyway, I read just that article and found it much easier to step outside of myself and re-evaluate a lot of my interactions. I mean, I had read that second-mentioned article on selfishness and one of my thoughts was to a) forward it to someone I thought had been a bit selfish with his dealings with me, and b) ask him what he thought of it, ha. Upon reading this one though . . . I don't know how, but it helped me suddenly see a lot of the little-mindedness I've been keeping.

There were many things that struck me about it, this is just one in particular:

Love without attachment - Letting go of harmful relationships is easier because you’re still unconditionally connected to everyone else. As you release old relationships that no longer serve you, you’ll attract new ones that are compatible with you.

I only had to let that settle into my mind for a couple hours before I sent an email off to that one with whom I was going to bring up a discussion on selfishness . . . Instead I just decided to let him know that I realize that, throughout our friendship, I've been very . . . fearful, anxious. It has lead me toward being very small-focused. Trying desperately to do what I can to hang onto him and then limiting myself within our interactions out of a fear of being disappointing or not good enough or something. So I pointed out my recognition of that, and my goal to overcome that (and how it fits with my _{lately reaffirmed} personal goals of growing in general.)

It's odd, but focusing on the connections between people (similar to the connections among a bacteria colony, you know, the operations of existence in general) has suddenly made me feel immensely more secure in my autonomy.

I think I've been a very socially anxious person by default. Refocusing myself like this is helping me a lot to quit letting other people determine my moods. I mean, when I catch myself being unfair to someone in my head, I remind myself that I'm learning, they're learning, we're human, we're experiencing. I'm not in a place to judge, neither are they.

So that's a big jump for me . . . And then just . . . Checking out the rest of his stuff?

Well, I have some "issues" with the "self-help" realm, I suppose. I mean, I'm not linking to his home page because, though I definitely value this man's perspective, that whole pro-pro-pro go-go-go introductory language is sort of off-putting to me? I don't know how to describe that. It makes me think we have nothing in common.

But if you check out his The Meaning of Life: Intro article, he gives his sort of life story . . . Which is. Amazing.

I mean, he talks about dropping religion. He's obviously smart. He lays out his reasoning so his wording of things, which I am unused to, is easier to accept . . .

He discusses "lenses" there, which is good I think. I've realized recently that I've been putting a lot of stock into physical existence? I think when I dropped "religion" I sort of dropped the importance of "attitude" (or "perspective" or "framework.")

But I'm starting to pick it up again.

I think that's why I'm really appreciating this site. It's very followable for me. He's continually un-deluding himself and describing it in process. He's very upfront about money-making, flaws in past and present behaviors, the fact that he is not writing for everyone, et cetera.

So this site is really good for me right now. Like my Web design sites, it's very inspiring. I can see that this person has a lot of energy, and when I draw on it, I realize that it's easier to let go of some of the things (people . . . PERSON) I've been kind of clinging too unhealthily and what within I've been unfairly investing[i'm seeing how to construct the win-wins]. It's easier to see by example how someone can have an overall peace with others and a healthy/loving devotion to themselves within that context. . . . And be intelligent at the same time.

It's hard because it's very inspirational, but when people gush about things like this, I don't trust them, ha. And, like I said, the whole terminology is hard to become adjusted to . . . But it makes you kind of realize how conditioned your heart is in this world to immediately shut out anything vulnerably pure like this? Strange.

I've also realized that, you know, moods go up and down. But lately I've sort of let the fact that my moods and energy level will go down discredit the good times. I'm feeling better right now about just making the best of the good times and the best of the less great times.

The hard part though is that, when confronted with ideas about fully living one's life, you become faced with your desire to actually, you know, do it. Which means I have to get off my lazy ass. Fuck!

* * *

Summary:

Life is good.
I'm inspired by many things.
In particular, I'm currently feeling greatly inspired by an atheist, raw vegan, polyamorous, ex-software developer who meditates, is married to a professional psychic medium and has experimented with many fascinating things (including polyphasic sleep).
Wait, what?
Yeah, you heard me.

blip.fm anyone?

2009-02-12T14:44:22Z

I just joined and I don't know what I'm doing.

Come, let us infect each other with music.

(Or just you can provide me with a variety of new tunes since I'm significantly lacking new such -ness in my life. :P )

edit. Those "reply" capabilities leave a lot of room for obnoxiousness, mwa ha hah.

That girl who drew me . . .

2009-02-10T06:17:31Z

I drew her right back!

. . . 2 months late. I'm a little slow. :P

bigger

Do I need to point out that this is fairly lazily done with little planning or pre-concept?

I probably shouldn't point out that her shoulders were bare in the ref pic- so the original flipping over and rejoining of the image totally resulted in the creation of a vagina in that lower portion of the image. Cool idea, but I would have felt like a total pervert leaving that in a picture of someone real. Ha.

As with anything. There's stuff I'd fix. And I'd probably have liked to add a middle focal image. But nothing came to mind that was both easy and simple. :P

OKAY FINE

2009-02-06T19:41:44Z

Comments enabled on that last one.

Go ahead and confess your lifestory to me! Publicly or anonymously or on your own journal . . . (or just continue chatting with me privately, lovers.)

I promise I will nod my head and go, "hmm" as a response. In spirit at least.

Let's make an assumption.

2009-02-06T19:25:42Z

There's something mind-blowingly wonderful and amazing in your life RIGHT NOW, but you're not seeing it.

What is it?

happy merry blah blah (<3 you all)

2008-12-25T20:39:33Z

(click it! writer = journalestaloco while the drawer of pictures is i)